I'll post some notes from the book, and if you have any thoughts or ideas on fathering, please feel free to comment.
Here goes!
- The father's job is to move his son from self-centeredness to self-discipline. When that happens, the father has given his son the gift of freedom
- It is the job of the father to keep his son sharp and save him from the dullness of foolishness. He gives his son that sharp edge through discipline.
- There is no greater joy than to see the fruit of discipline in your son's life. There's no greater happiness than when your son becomes his own self disciplinarian. That's when your son will take off like a self-propelling rocket.
- Responsibility leads to privileges and new freedoms. NOT the other way around.
- If a son shows a willingness to shoulder responsibility, he will then be given more privileges and freedoms.
- Your son must have a healthy fear of you and your commitment to doing what is right in his life. It's important because if your son never has a healthy fear of you, he will never have a healthy fear of God.
- When a father gives up his power by giving his son everything he wants, his son will not fear him in a healthy way. When there is no fear on a son's part of a father's discipline, then that son has lost his freedom.
- When a father mentors his son and disciplines him, he gives that young man freedom.
- You desperately need the Lord to give you the wisdom to dispense just the right amount of discipline. If it's too much, you'll be harsh. If it's too little, you'll be soft and ineffective. That's why you need the Lord. If you seek Him, He'll dish out his wisdom to you in just the right amounts. And then your discipline will not only be measured... it will be effective. That's how you will discipline with confidence.
- Passive fathers don't do what needs to be done. They sit back and do nothing. They may be aggressive in other areas of their lives. They may be highly motivated in their careers and fitness routines. But when it comes to stepping in and giving their sons the firm hand of discipline, they simply shrivel up and go passive. When a man does that, he has failed in his most important responsibility. If you have done that, it's time to get off the dime and get to work with your son.
- Your son doesn't need a dad who does it right every time. he just needs to see a dad who is in there giving it the best shot he has. And when he has blown it, he admits it - without excuses or casting of blame - and then steps up to make the necessary changes in his life. And he does it rapidly.
- He's never been twenty-seven before. You have. And what a benefit it is to talk with someone who has been over the bridge just before you step onto it. That's fathering and that is mentoring. That's my job and yours.
- God is not looking for perfection - He's looking at your heart. And if you are loving Him from the deepest part of your heart and soul, there is going to be a growing consistency in your walk. You never become sin-less, but you will begin to sin less.
- A good man cannot simply rely on his example to meet the needs of his son. A man must be intentional in his fathering.
- There is nothing nobler in all of life than to shape your son into a man.
- Your son has been part of His plan since before time. And God knows what he needs, and what you need in order to mentor him.
- Boys need their dads. They need their dads to do stuff with them and put them to bed. They need dads who will discipline them when they cross the line. They need dads who love Christ and follow Him. They need dads who don't lie, don't cheat, and don't look at porn. They need dads that love their mothers and don't cut out when the going gets tough. They need dads who won't put up with disrespectful words or looks aimed at Mom. They need dads who can tell them how to handle a bully at school. And if need be, they need a dad who will go talk to the father of the bully or bullies. And if the bully has no father, they will talk to the mother. And if the father or mother of the bully won't do anything, then your son needs a dad who will model how to put the fear of God in the bully.
- He's never been twenty-seven before. You have. And what a benefit it is to talk with someone who has been over the bridge just before you step onto it. That's fathering and that is mentoring. That's my job and yours.
- God is not looking for perfection - He's looking at your heart. And if you are loving Him from the deepest part of your heart and soul, there is going to be a growing consistency in your walk. You never become sin-less, but you will begin to sin less.
- A good man cannot simply rely on his example to meet the needs of his son. A man must be intentional in his fathering.
- There is nothing nobler in all of life than to shape your son into a man.
- Your son has been part of His plan since before time. And God knows what he needs, and what you need in order to mentor him.
- Boys need their dads. They need their dads to do stuff with them and put them to bed. They need dads who will discipline them when they cross the line. They need dads who love Christ and follow Him. They need dads who don't lie, don't cheat, and don't look at porn. They need dads that love their mothers and don't cut out when the going gets tough. They need dads who won't put up with disrespectful words or looks aimed at Mom. They need dads who can tell them how to handle a bully at school. And if need be, they need a dad who will go talk to the father of the bully or bullies. And if the bully has no father, they will talk to the mother. And if the father or mother of the bully won't do anything, then your son needs a dad who will model how to put the fear of God in the bully.
